You are My Sweetest Downfall
by doctor's gal 1792
Summary: Jack returns to Cardiff 2 years later. Rhys has died and Gwen needs a shoulder to lean on and Jack knows it. But when she tries to push them into a relationship he withdraws himself. Better summary inside Jack/Gwen Past Jack/Ianto POST: COE
1. Guilt

**Title: You Are my Sweetest Downfall**

**Author: doctors gal1792 on fanfiction jack_is_love17 on LiveJournal**

**Rating: T...possible M....idk. **

**Pairings: Jack/Gwen (Jack/Ianto past obviously)**

**Warnings: Swearing, possible smut in later chapters, post Children of Earth. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEE CHILDREN OF EARTH!**

**Summary: Two years after Jack has left and he's returned to the world he left behind. Rhys has died and Gwen is struggling to stay strong for her little boy who is blissfully unaware. **

**Jack's returned to be a shoulder for Gwen to lean on. **

**Gwen tries to persuade Jack into giving them a chance because she's always loved him, but he tries to push her away. The last thing Jack wants is to hurt Gwen or be hurt, and he definitely still feels guilty because of Ianto and Rhys' death. **

**Will he give a relationship with Gwen a chance?**

**A/N- I know I've been out of the Torchwood fandom for a long time. I finished Before the Worst and after that I was just like 'I'm done for awhile' I needed time to fully heal after Children of Earth. I know that sounds insane but it's true...I struggled with series three. So much happened in just those five episodes and once it was all over I was so emotionally drained and for the longest time I couldn't look at pictures of Torchwood without just feeling honest to God sick. **

**Finally I've gotten through my issues and have forgiven Jack for what I know he had to do (killing Stephen...I don't think I'll ever get over him leaving Gwen when she needed him). I hope you enjoy this story...please review if you do like it. **

**Oh and as of right now I don't have a beta...if you'd like to beta for me please give me a shout!**

**XX**

Chapter 1

Guilt

Jack had returned the day Rhys died. It seemed when Gwen needed a friend the most and had no one, he was there, and would always be there.

Her son Jack was only about two at the time. Gwen had been successful in getting Mickey Smith and Lois Habiba to work at Torchwood for her but that had been it, regardless Rhys would always help when they needed it.

His death had happened so suddenly that nothing could be done to stop it or prevent it, as Gwen had done in the past when Billis Manger had taken her love from her.

The rift had flared up and in an attempt to stop it from hitting critical Rhys ran to stop it, and he was electrocuted.

The funeral had been the following Tuesday and to young Jack, he didn't know anything was different. Gwen tried to explain that daddy wasn't coming back but he just didn't understand.

She'd stood for hours at the grave, even after everyone had left and Lois had taken the baby home.

Then his hand slipped into hers, Gwen stared up at the man beside her, the stranger, her heart was numb from the pain and she almost didn't believe he was here.

"I'm sorry." Jack had whispered.

Gwen had hugged him tightly and cried into his arms. They stayed under a tree in the cemetery and Gwen cried all night, until she'd finally fallen asleep in his arms and Jack had scooped her up and taken her home.

Lois hadn't met Jack but she knew him when she saw him at the door.

She looked concerned at Gwen.

"She's just sleeping." Jack muttered.

"Oh right....well keep quiet, the baby is sleeping...." Lois said, moving to the side so Jack could bring Gwen in and set her down on the bed in her bedroom.

Jack came out of the room, closing the door lightly behind him and looked at Lois.

"Your Jack." Lois said, matter-of-factly.

He nodded, "And you must be Lois Habiba."

She nodded in response.

He sat down on the sofa and sighed, "I should have come back sooner....Rhys wouldn't have died then."

"Jack...Gwen explained a lot to me over the last two years. How you changed her life in ways she never knew possible, if given the chance to do it all over she wouldn't change a thing. She said that today at the service. Only Mickey and I knew quite what she meant but we know she meant it. When she wakes up in the morning she's not going to want a pity party or to be hearing how guilty you are. Right now what Gwen needs the most is you. You need to be there for her." Lois paused for a long time and then went on, "You better take care of her this time."

Before Jack could ask what Lois meant exactly by that she was already walking out the door of the apartment, her coat slung over her arm.

Jack sat in silence for a long time. Finally he removed his wool coat, placed it on the back of a chair and looked around. He went to the kitchen to put the kettle on and then slowly made his way up stairs, Gwen was still sleeping. She looked like an angel with her hair splayed out on the pillow and the moonlight casting weird shadows around her.

Across the hall from Gwen's bedroom was the baby's room. Gently Jack opened the door and looked in, a lamp on the wall was on and he slowly went in to see the boy.

His heart warmed at the sight of the peacefully sleeping baby. Baby Jack had a big tuft of brown hair, he was truly a spinning image of his beautiful mother.

He stayed there for the longest time, if the kettle hadn't gone off, Jack would have stayed there all night watching the little boy sleep. Finally he heard the faint whirring of the hot kettle, he left the room, closed the door silently behind him and returned to the kitchen.

He poured the hot water into his mug with the tea bag and took one sip of the drink after it sat for a few minutes. It was times like these he missed Ianto the most...because if Jack was having an all nighter Ianto would be at the hub with hot coffee ready and waiting. He closed his eyes, forcing all of those memories of his lost love away.

Jack went to the living room and sat back down on the sofa, and he sat there all night...

**XX**

**A/N- Okay honestly...this is NOT supposed to be a more than one chapter fic...but it's becoming that...as you can see....I hope you review and tell me what you think. **

**Lots of love and cookies for reviewers. **

**Xoxoxoxoxo**


	2. Amends

Chapter 2

Amends

When Gwen woke up the next morning she looked like hell. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked pale. Honestly she was surprised Jack was there in the kitchen making breakfast when she brought herself down.

What surprised her further was little baby Jack sitting in his high chair eating food.

Her friend looked at her hesitantly, like maybe she wouldn't want him there.

"You sleep okay?" He asked.

Gwen shrugged, "I've had better nights of sleep. What about you?"

"I didn't sleep at all." Jack poured a cup of strong smelling coffee into a cup and handed it to Gwen who drank it greedily.

The baby smiled happily at his mother, "Hi mummy!" He cried happily.

Gwen smiled at her son, "Hello love." She looked back at her friend who was making some eggs and toast. He slipped the food onto a plate and handed it to Gwen who began to eat.

She watched Jack while eating however. He never made eye contact with her and continued to clean up the kitchen.

"I missed you." Gwen told him, but there was still a bit of hostility to her voice.

"I missed you too." Jack whispered.

"Funny because you didn't seem to miss me." The snap that was in her voice was automatic. After everything, a part of her told her to react hostile towards Jack.

"But I did." He murmured, still not looking at her.

"Then why didn't you come back sooner?!" She cried, setting her fork down.

Jack turned to look at her, "I...I had a lot to think about. It was hard for me. Don't think that I just got up and went on some vacation because I didn't. I was mourning a good part of that time. I came back now because I knew I was desperately needed."

"For the love of Christ! Jack we've needed you since the minute you left! You were gone and I was six bloody months pregnant and trying to get Torchwood up and running again. This city needed you! Now you come back expecting me to welcome you with open arms?!"

He looked down, "I didn't expect you to welcome me back."

"Then why are you here?" Gwen asked.

"Because you needed someone! You were alone and grieving and needed me. I want to make amends, starting with taking care of you." He answered.

Gwen was silent for a moment. "It's going to take a lot more than that to make amends."

"Well I can't do this without your help." Jack replied.

This time the silence was even longer.

"Alright...fine." She inhaled, "You can start by running Torchwood again."

He nodded, "Okay."

"Okay." Gwen sunk back into her chair, slowly picked up her fork, and resumed eating.

**XX**

–

**A/N- I know this chapter is sooo short and kind of sucks. I'm with a friend atm who has been sick lately so I came to cheer her up because she was kind of getting depressed. Anyways...I hope to be writing more soon. It's kind of easier when I'm home and by myself. So be on the lookout for that. **

**Happy news! My Mom bought me Torchwood Children of Earth today, Life on Mars series one and two, and the Doctor Who specials gift set!! does a happy dance **

**Alright...peace out. **

**REVIEW!! :) **


	3. The Hub Three

Chapter 3

The Hub Three

After Gwen dropped the baby off with the babysitter she drove Jack to the edge of town. He looked at the warehouse through the windshield. "This is the Hub now?"

She nodded, "We had to make do with what we had."

Jack didn't reply and stepped out of the vehicle. They were much closer to the water and wondered how they could deal with the smell of the fish that came in from the fishermen.

"You get used to it." Gwen told him, as if she had been reading his mind.

Jack nodded and followed her. Gwen went to a door and entered a series of pass codes into the door lock. The door swung open and Jack almost flinched at the entrance looking a bit like the old tourist shop they had set up as a diversion for the use of the real building.

Gwen didn't comment on it as they walked around the desk and through a door into a large room. Despite the fact that only three people worked at this Torchwood, there were desks and computers everywhere.

Lois looked as Jack and Gwen came in and she offered her friend a small smile, and Gwen returned it.

"Mickey! Jack and Gwen are here." Lois called.

A moment later they were joined by none other than Mickey Smith.

"It's nice to see you." Jack greeted his old friend.

"Yeah, same to you." Mickey and Jack shook hands and then parted as Gwen proceeded to show Jack around.

"Here is where mostly everything happens." Gwen explained. She led him to a office and looked down at her feet, "I always had this set up...in case you ever came back. I had given up hope you ever would. But we gathered most of your stuff from the wreckage and put it in here."

Jack gave a small smile as he looked at the piece of coral that had grown a bit more in the last two years since he had been gone. His TARDIS was still okay, the next time he saw the Doctor he would have to be sure to tell him about that. He had always meant to mention it but it always slipped his mind on every occasion he saw the Doctor.

"Thank you Gwen....for all of this." He turned from his desk to look at her.

"Your welcome Jack. I know you need your own space so this is your office." Gwen explained.

Jack gave her a smile.

She nodded after a moment and left the office. Jack sat down and watched her go to her desk that was covered in stacks of paper.

The day went by with hardly anything. Jack stayed in his office most of the time because he didn't want to get in on Gwen's territory. Finally he saw her gathering up her stuff to go get the baby. He came out of his office, slipping his arms into his coat.

"I was wondering..." He began.

Gwen looked at him expectantly.

"Well, where can I stay?" He looked around the new Hub and was not all too thrilled at the idea of staying here.

"I have a guest room. You can stay there until we can find something better for you." Gwen answered.

Jack nodded slowly, "Okay."

"See ya Mickey!" Gwen called as she began to head for the door.

"Bye Gwen, see you later Jack."

Jack saluted Mickey and followed Gwen outside to the car.

The drive to the babysitter's was silent.

They arrived a few minutes later and together they went to the front door.

Gwen rang the bell and waited.

A pretty girl who looked to be about twenty answered, "Oh hiya Mrs. Williams." She turned, "Jack! Your mummy is here."

The baby came waddling into the hall way, "Mummy!" he cried.

"Hello handsome!" Gwen greeted and picked her son up.

Jack watched Gwen hold the baby and smiled.

The babysitter left for a moment and came back with the diaper bag and little Jack's toys.

"Thanks again." Gwen said as she pulled a cheque out and handed it to the girl.

"Oh thank you Mrs. Williams. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gwen waved, "Say bye Jack." The baby waved at his babysitter.

The three of them turned and went to the car. Jack watched as Gwen strapped baby Jack into his car seat. He got into the vehicle once Gwen was in her seat.

"Can I treat you two to dinner?" he asked.

Gwen looked at him, "Why?"

He shrugged, "I just want to talk, and have the chance to catch up."

She thought about it for a moment, "Okay."

Jack smiled.

Gwen started the car and they drove to a restaurant.

**XX**

**A/N- Again I know it's short. I'm just blah with this story right now. But I figured, better it be short than nothing at all. Hopefully a idea will pop up soon and I'll be better inspired to work on this. **

**Please review. **

**Xoxoxo**

**Beccs! ^_^ **


	4. Benefits

Chapter 4

Benefits

Dinner was quiet and kind of awkward. Jack hoped to get through the awkwardness but nothing really prevailed. Once they were back at Gwen's house, Gwen took baby Jack to his room to go to sleep and Jack went to the kitchen. He found a bottle of brandy and a glass. He was just bringing his glass to his lips when Gwen came into the kitchen. She eyed the brandy and went to get herself a glass. Gwen handed Jack the glass and he poured her some of the amber colored drink.

They drank in silence for a moment and then Gwen spoke.

"I needed this drink..." She commented, staring at the alcohol.

Jack looked at her, "Welcome to my life."

"Is that what you do then? When your grieving? Drink?" Gwen asked. She could only wish life could be that easy. But being a mother called her to be responsible.

He didn't answer for a moment, "Among other things. When you've lived as long as I have, getting drunk is one of the only thing's that works anymore."

"I guess it helps that you'll never get liver disease." Gwen muttered.

Jack shrugged, "Suppose so."

He went into the living room, taking the bottle of brandy with him and sat down on the sofa. Gwen watched him for a moment and followed.

There was another awkward silence.

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" Jack asked as he finished off his glass.

Gwen looked at him, "You left me to deal with a confused and angry world. I had to be away from my newborn baby and my husband." She sighed, "I was going to file for divorce. Rhys deserved better than me. Then he turned up to help out...and got killed." Gwen pushed her hair back, "I don't know what I can do. It may not be fair to do it but a lot of things that went bad the last three years I feel the need to blame on you."

Jack sighed, "Fine."

There was another silence and Gwen set her glass down as she had emptied it. "Goodnight.

He watched as she turned on her heel and went upstairs.

Once Gwen was in her room she put on her night gown and got under the blankets. But she couldn't sleep. Downstairs she could hear Jack moving around.

Several hours passed and she pushed the blankets down. Gwen quietly went to her door. It was deathly silent downstairs. She opened her bedroom door and walked down the steps. Jack was on the sofa in the living room, under a blanket. In the dark it looked like he was asleep.

Gwen walked over to him and stared for a moment before poking him in the arm, "Jack?"

He opened an eye, "I never sleep."

"Oh...right...I forgot." Gwen said slowly.

Jack nodded then frowned, "What's up?"

She was silent for a moment and then sat down in his lap. He raised an eyebrow at her as she straddled him, "Are you okay?"

Gwen nodded and then she pressed her lips to his.

Jack was, to the say the least, surprised. He instantly kissed back but knew Gwen had a hunger and desperation for him.

She broke the kiss only to pull her nightgown up and over her head. Jack watched her as she dropped it in a heap on the floor and then looked at her body. She was almost completely naked. He swallowed and began to remove his shirt.

Gwen pushed his hands away, she was impatient with Jack and practically ripped his shirt off which she dropped with her nightie. Her long slender fingers ran over his chest and down to his trousers. It wasn't long before those were off.

"Gwen....what are we doing?" Jack asked.

He had thought and fantasized of this moment for a long time, now that it was here, he was very confused.

"We're going to have sex." Gwen answered. She raised her body up just to pull her panties off. A few more articles of clothing were shed from Jack's body and they were completely naked.

Gwen took his hand and pushed it over her breast. Gently he cupped the breast and kissed the other. While he was preoccupied with that, Gwen raised her body again just to slide him into her.

Jack's grasp became a bit tighter so he wouldn't let out a loud groan.

She began to move and Jack moved slowly. He looked up into her face, still totally confused, but not asking anymore questions, not right now at least.

Gwen flung her head back as she moved her body. She wasn't sure what had come over her. But the sudden urge and want that she had been needing for months became too strong to deny. Jack was right there and he had once been one of the biggest whore's she knew. The thought occurred to her that it wasn't right to use Jack like this but he seemed to be enjoying it.

Jack continued to move up into her. It had been a long time since he had been anyone. He had always loved Gwen but she had been with Rhys before he left and he was with Ianto. Gwen began to move a bit fast with reckless abandon. She was submitting herself to Jack even if she was on top and dominating him.

With another thrust up into Gwen's body, she tightened and clenched around him. Jack let out a loud groan and thrusted into her again, harder than before. Gwen had broken a sweat at this point as she tightened further around him until she came. She groaned out Jack's name and then Jack came himself. His grip on her breast tightened just a bit more and he let out a groan.

They stayed still for a moment as their breathing returned to normal. Then Gwen looked down at Jack and he looked up at her.

"Gwen....what...what was that?" He managed to ask.

"I...I just needed to feel something." She said quietly before standing up.

Jack looked at her, "What's this going to mean for us?"

Gwen looked down then abck up at him, "I'm not ready for a relationship. My husband just died." She shrugged, "Your a friend with benefits."

Jack nodded after a long moment of silence, "Okay."

Gwen stared at him for a moment and then gathered up her clothes from the floor.

"Goodnight Jack." She murmured and then went upstairs.

Jack watched her go and then just sighed. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell had really just happened.

**XX**

**A/N- Another short chapter but it had smut. God I hope that made up for the lack of chapters? I know I suck badly. I just have not wanted to write since a long time. Plus on top of all of that I've been soo busy. **

**Concerts and stuff. Plus my brother was injured in Afghanistan last month and it's caused other family drama. **

**Then seriously this has been my week. Monday-Steel Train/The Fray. Tuesday-packing to go to DC. Wednesday-Paramore. Thursday-Gold Motel. Friday (That's today btw)-Gold Motel. Saturday-taking my gran around to run errands I guess. Sunday-The Friday Night Boys. **

**I'm not complaining because this week is simply amazing. I have to stay with my insane annoying grandmother But Greta from Gold Motel is totally and completely worth it.**

**If you weren't aware she's a member of The hush Sound which they inspired two of my fics. "As you Cry" and "Don't Wake Me Up". **

**So yeah. I'm done rambling. I hope my next update doesn't take forever...but who knows. **

**Please review. Thanks. **

**Also I hope the smut wasn't too awkard. I'm like...a virgin. Haha. Lol. **


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